In Evening's Dark the Wind Blows Ominous
by aki.ari
Summary: A collection of short anxieties and insecurities for the month of October - First victim: Oikawa Tooru


**In Evening's Dark the Wind Blows Ominous**

 **#Oikawa Tooru**

Shadows again. Creeping ever closer with the falling dusk these shadows again. Six thirty-six and already streetlights. Footfalls on the sidewalk quicken, shoulders shudder up, head dipping and disdainful chocolate hued irises regarding the passing pavement warily. Oikawa always lamented the coming of autumn. Shorter days and longer nights. _Much_ longer nights. By a quarter to seven the whole city would be so deeply engulfed in that dark tint. He hated it. Darkness. If asked he'd never admit it of course – that "hate" was mere fear masking bravado. Not the fear of a child wary of monsters in the closet or a dimensional portal under the bed. No, when Oikawa looked at shadows – looked _into_ shadows – he became ill.

A shiver trilled up Oikawa's spine as he pushed his front door open stepping into the fully lit front hall. There was a vague foreboding that hovered about him when everything was bathed in light and shadows merely hugged the edges of things – that eerie feeling – like being followed. He'd glance at his shadow and be inextricably filled with repulsion. That disgusting thing always at his heels. Always nipping at his anxieties. Always there in its varying manifestations as if a specter waiting for the opportunity to possess him. His mind conjured upon the greyish black stain on the polished hardwood a warped smile. Bile thick like tar in his throat. Choking. Suffocating. Oikawa wanted to chop it off! Sever that dark, dismal fellow and chuck him in a ditch somewhere. Bury him. Pile tonnes of dirt upon that twisted smiling faceless thing. Bury him like a grounding pole, so deep in the earth that there would be no chance that he might rise from his unmarked grave to follow after with renewed vigor.

Turning off the light in the hall with baited breath. He ascended the stairs slowly while humming cheerful tunes, the glistening of apprehension in Oikawa's eyes belying his outward mirth. A glow from the second floor bathroom casting shadows along the corridor. This was worse. When everything was dark and there was only a spot of light it was truly stomach churningly awful. Jaw tight and hands balled into fists as he skipped purposefully to his door. No one in sight. Useless swagger that failed to convince even himself. Hand clasped over his mouth, sickness contorting his features. So nauseated. He wondered sometimes how he always managed to remain standing… Entirely blanked in that fellow.

At night he was part of everything. He could be anywhere. Standing in the curtains by the sparsely moonlit window. In the door frame, gleefully grinning as he traipsed back and forth in the shadows. Worse still was hiding in a small circle of lamplight when everything else was dark. Light supposed to offer comfort in dispelling the darkness, then just a cage. A fragile wall-less, bar-less cage blurred at the edges – so easily traversed. Cringing as he shed his uniform and donned his alien print pyjamas, Oikawa could almost hear the laughter of that sinister demon waiting in the darkness. Ever waiting for him to let his guard down long enough from somewhere out there in the bleeding darkness. At least in the day, with him attached to his feet, there was no doubt of where he was or what he was doing. At least in the day…

In the darkness, huddled before the electric blue glow of his television screen, blanket a protective barrier about his shoulders, and headphones snug against his ears, Oikawa listened to the comforting screech of shoes against the court. Thinned irises encircling widened pupils, trained on the bodies moving in tandem with the ball. Refuge. Even in this way the court was his sanctuary.

* * *

A/N: So I've been relatively inactive lately because of my own debilitating anxiety, so I decided that the best way to get myself writing again was to encase myself in music and just start typing. The result of which is a file full of randomly drafted fears for my favorite Haikyuu! characters. Misery loves company after all~

I wanted to make a goal like upload something every other day, but I severely doubt that I'd be able to keep to that since it's also inktober and I wanted to do some inking practice as well. I guess we'll see. Come visit me on tumblr if you want, links in my profile.

Thanks as always for your time, all comments are very much welcomed and appreciated :)


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